I was in my Layering Class at the Estuary Art Centre and we have a fabulous bunch of people and there was a question I felt is very valid
When did I know I was an artist? Did I always know that I wanted to be an artist?
I think it is a path. If we ask ourselves if it has always been inside of us, in you? I think somewhere in there it was always there. Drawing design patterns in the sea sand on the beach or making tracks with the tires of our bikes. For me I have always been creative in some way and I was funnily enough a dance teacher for many years. I taught Latin American and Ballroom Dance, I showcased and danced professionally for alot of my 20's.
There is a path, where there are things that are linked, crafting is one, part time creative, hobbyist artist then there is a moment when we become, a subtle shift in time when we become an artist in our own mind. We begin to realise we have been developing our own style for so long. Sometimes this can take years! The part after that is when we find our voice. Sometimes this can take years, wait I have heard this before, and it is not something that just happens at the click of our fingers. It is something that develops and grows and is nurtured. Nurtured I say, by us and all the people and things we come in contact with. When we find our voice that is the thing. That’s when we really know, even though we absolutely question not only our skills and our sanity along the way,
Growing up we were always told what to do and how things are “meant” to be done. This always bothered me as I could not stop thinking about how there must be another way to achieve the desired result. Surely I could create in my own way and then it would be mine, and not someone elses.
I also became aware that in the years gone by we all had to fit in, if we didn’t fit the mold we were cast out! Geez it was hard work trying to be the same as everyone else, I lasted about 5 minutes. Yes the worst 5 minutes of my life and all that….now saying that in reality it is actually true, I was lousy at fitting in. I was simply happier doing my own thing and being happy was something that was important to me.
My dad, he wasn’t just my dad, he played a huge roll in my life. He taught me what love is. He taught me that being alive is such a gift and to see those beautiful moments in every day because one day they may not be there. He died when I was 8. I am the luck one, I spent as much time with him as I could. I think I spent more time with him when my siblings. I am so grateful to have had those 8 years with him. I am getting full of emotion just writing this. He was such a warm happy wonderful man with the most fabulous energy.
He taught me that we can be creative and do things in a way that is ours, and not everybody else’s . He was one of my greatest teachers. My mother plays just as much a significant role in my life even though she believed she could not teach me anything. She never really wanted or felt she could teach me to cook or sew (two of her things she loved to do)
I have to admit that I never really thought that anyone would ever be interested in anything I had to say. Why would they, I mean really! I seem to have some different ideas to people around me and they really don’t always fit with others beliefs so no one would want to hear my ideas. Though I have been asked to speak a couple of times now and it is starting to grow, ( who would have thought) but it seems there is a select few ( I have no real idea, just the people that are as … well come from a similar pod to me?)
The reality is I started to realise I speak to numerous artists every week and for quite a few hours, EVERY WEEK. I speak about art and the process and how to get the best out of yourself and your skills. I speak about how to develop those skills and the best questions to ask yourself. So really people have been listening to my blaa blaa for ages “ without me really giving it much thought)
Besides for which I get a bit flustered when I speak to people I don’t know and say things that don’t always make much sense even to me. Lets keep doing what we are doing.